June 16, 2023
My biggest challenge in life was raising two young men single-handedly.
What was even more discouraging was the lack of social support for single fathers from state agencies, not sure if it’s the case today but twenty years ago that was the case.
I was told to go to the social welfare office to see if any assistance was available only to be informed that help was available but only for women who lost their children’s fathers and not the other way around.
Apartment hunting as a single father in Trinidad of two young boys was a nightmare, being gainfully employed meant nothing, the only place available on the east-west corridor was in at-risk area, image your sons already traumatised by the sudden loss of their mother then the added trauma of putting them in such an environment.
Cumana, Toco became our new home a far cry from the life they knew in St James but it was therapeutic enough to foster healing. The Community quickly became our new extended family and they had the pleasure of the sea as their backyard.
Despite all the odds they return years later to Port of Spain, and both attended college in the capital.
One got qualified in electrical insulation.
With none getting in trouble with the law.
In closing the role of a father is critical in maintaining law and order in the home and by extension the community, society’s lack of attention to the vital role of a father in the home is a direct reflection of the never-ending crime wave in Trinidad and Tobago.
Trinidad and Tobago has adopted the American prototype of parenthood where Fathers are nothing more than A.T.M machines with little to no say regarding the day-to-day development of the child, we need to get back to the basics as all can agree on the importance of a father’s role in a child’s life.
The lack of support for single fathers also needs to be addressed so they can provide a stable environment for their children. I am proud of my sons and their accomplishments, but I couldn’t have done it alone. It’s time for society to recognize and support the importance of fathers in raising healthy, productive members of society.
Dane J.B. Harper